Everyone goes through a low in their life at some stage.. Mine happened over a year ago and thinking back in perspective of all other things that has happened in my life I wondered why this one took me too breaking point. Knowing now that everyone has the one point of “I can’t take it anymore” makes me feel less isolated. Knowing I’d finally reached mine was helpful in some ways. I knew I needed help.

In the days where I felt low and the anxiety attacks came at me out of nowhere I focussed on saying to myself “if I don’t get out of bed then I won’t be able to go to my TRX class” or knowing I’d just be getting an hour off from anxiety at my class meant I calmed a little and could function normally, it was kind of filing the feelings away to a subconscious place so consciously I could get on with my day …not exactly tackling the issue I know but I hadn’t the strength to do that yet.

I loved the feeling I got from going to the class or taking a PT lesson because when you work at high intensity the only thing your brain can cope with is what you are doing in that moment. It’s like a little mini mind retreat. Then there’s the positives that come from swinging that heavier kettle bell .. Lifting that heavier barbell and getting up on a bar for the first time and doing a leg raise. You have the positive influence from your trainer your gym family and you leave on a high. Carrying on the healthy eating and lifestyle you feel a lot happier. I’m not saying it cures depression but I’m saying it definitely helps or helped me cope until I got help from a counsellor.

On a side note to even admit depression in Ireland can be hard. It shouldn’t be.. It’s hard enough dealing with depression without dealing with the shame of it. We all go through hard times and we all cope with it differently. A good support system(Amazing husband) and positive focus on my health helps me. I’m finally in a better place and I won’t ever forget the role exercise played in that. I’ve decided to now make it my future career and the closer I get the happier I become.

Depression and working through it to me is a lot like getting stronger at lifting weights you start off slow and it can feel like you will never progress , you question you’re body and why it isn’t stronger, you look at the person next to you and wonder why they can complete the heavier deadlift and you cant..the sessions are tough and at times you wonder why you are doing it , you’re mentally tired and you’re body aches and you can’t see light at the end of the long dark tunnel …. but you go and take part in your training session and once its over you feel great… you start to see progression and suddenly you’ve gone from fearing something to conquering it.. the difference is I feel proud to tell someone I lifted 100kg deadlift… but I feel ashamed to say I’m still conquering anxiety.

Has exercise helped you through a tough time?